Run Hulk, Run!

Be on the lookout...

 

This Saturday, December 31st, I will be running an 8k. That is 4.97 miles.

This weekend, I ran the better part of 9 miles in Pt. Reyes (with a LOT of help from a Unicorn).

For this weekend, I am scared shitless. Wondering why? I’m not.

This weekend, including the Pt. Reyes run, Tough Mudder, and any of the spring lake/Annadel runs I did with anyone BEFORE Tough Mudder (and NOT including any runs I will do this week) will mark about the 10th time I’ve run for any “remarkable” amount of time in my entire life. You see, I never was a runner and never thought I would be. I still don’t think I am. I’m someone who the mere THOUGHT of running sends me into “mini-anxiety” mode. Not because I don’t think I can do it but because instinctively that’s how my brain has ALWAYS been wired.

For me, running is associated with pain and humiliation. Emotional, physical, and mental pain and humiliation that is really hard to shake. I’ve always had chronic shin splints from being so heavy most of my life, and for the first time in my life, they don’t exist… I credit that in large part to my lifestyle, changes in training (BOSU is my BABY!), and consistent commitment. I got the “shins splints always held me back!” out of the way because that is the least of why this 8k this weekend scares me shitless.

You know how someone who is claustrophobic can be absolutely fine until they get into a confined space? That’s when the cold sweat, increased heart rate, heavy anxiety, and nausea sets in. Often times it’s the equivalent of kryptonite to a persons superman. Mental fears can cripple the most able of people. I am one of those able people who has more allergies to kryptonite than most people know.

My heart beats faster when I remember what it was like to be told “we’re running the mile today!” in PE and getting so physically sick that sometimes I was able to get out running it all together. There is nothing more physically degrading than trying as hard as you absolutely can, digging with everything you’ve got, feeling your joints explode and grind with the wear and tear of your obese body chugging along with all the might it can muster, and still running a 13 minute mile. As a prepubescent child who can’t physically do what other kids my age could do, I found out really quickly they never let you forget it. Not in a nice way either, in the cruelest of ways. I’m not the minority though, I’m the majority as far as knowing how that goes. I want to change that…

Whenever I think “I’m going to run” I follow it with “and be humiliated” out of instinct. It was all I ever knew. On top of the emotional humiliation, I always got to look forward to my body feeling like it was going to drop dead of a heart attack, stroke and brain aneurism. A child should never feel that way. Ever. That’s how bad off I was.

So when I got the e-mail that I was actually REGISTERED for an 8k (Pacific Coast Trail Run for those in the curiosity department), my heart dropped and the pit of my stomach flared up with the weight of a dying star. I understand that sounds a little dramatic, but when my brain reverts back to the paragraphs above every single time I know I’m about to run, I don’t care if you think I’m being dramatic or not. Truth be told, there will never be words to describe the anxiety, but you’re going to get my best absolute effort to do so.

Cara is the one who registered me for the 8k, and she has been my running inspiration (along with Tye) for quite some time. The 9 miles we ran together wouldn’t have been possible without her. She doesn’t know it, much like most people don’t know it who I have run with before, but I was terrified. Especially at the end of our run. The final 1.5-2 miles brought back all the familiar feelings of how running USED to make me feel. I felt bogged down, tired, tight, and like I was failing. Trying so hard, yet failing a little harder. That was when I exploded…

“I don’t like eating your dust” Cara tells me.

“I had 2 options… I could have faded away or I could have exploded. I chose to explode” is what I told The Unicorn.

That final mile and a half, I chose to impress myself. I felt the familiar feelings of failure creeping up towards my soul, starting at my toes. I didn’t let it get any farther than that. I reminded myself “You are not who you used to be, and you’re better than you wanted to be” and set out to stay true to my word. I used to fade away, but on Christmas Eve in Pt. Reyes I took that fear that had crippled me for a lifetime and I literally ran with it. With each step I increased the pace. I could feel my hips firing like pistons and my quads taking a lactic acid bath as my strongest muscle, my heart, took over. With each step I ran away from the debilitating anxiety and towards what I have always known deep down… That I can do anything.

In that moment, I chose to live. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I chose to embrace the fear rather than disgrace it. My fear has made me fearless. I don’t hate fear, I respect it. Because of that, I don’t even fear “fear itself.” I don’t even fear failure. The only thing I fear is forgetting where I came from. I think we all know that will never happen…

In the end, I am scared shitless for this 8k. However, I will embrace that fear and Hulk smash the hell out of this Pacific Coast Trail Run. I will leave a big, green imprint in the dirt as I stir up more dust for others to eat. I will embrace the love of the Unicorn who is my guiding light in this whole process, and hold my shirt up high at the end with a “tell me I can’t do something” shit-eating grin on my face.

Take that failure.

– Hulk

PS I chose to make my most personal “Hulk Talk” ever, public. I have more than 75 people entrusting me during “Hulk: Trinity – Round IX” so the LEAST I can do is leave no stone unturned with me. If you have 17 minutes to spare and would like to get a VERY personal account as to why I don’t accept “I can’t” then click the links below… Merry Holidays y’all!

I Can – Part 1
I Can – Part 2

Runner’s High

He collapsed 😦

Lately, I’ve been running.

That may not seem like much to some of you, but to me, it’s huge. I suffer from severe chronic shin splints that stem from being as overweight as I was as a kid and playing YEARS of football on the pavement. Don’t get me wrong, I was a fat white Barry Sanders with moves for days, but my shins took the brunt of the my obesity/agility.

Anyways, as many of you know, we have a little thing called TOUGH MUDDER rapidly approaching (September 18th baby birds!) and I have most DEFINITELY been on the ball with my training… except running. My endurance, strength, stability, and plyometric work is out of this world, but my body is not acclimated to running since I haven’t done it in YEARS.

The point of this post is that I’m running. Something I never thought I’d be able to do in a million years… I’m doing it. Out of the past 4 days, 3 of them I’ve run 4+ miles in the morning before my day starts. Again, never in a million years did I think I’d be running. It’s… liberating. Don’t get me wrong, my shins feel like they’re disintegrating… but not NEARLY as bad as it used to be. Before I could SWEAR a paint scraper was lodged in my tibialis anterior wrenching it away from the bone. Now, it just feels like that paint scraper is pressing against the exterior of my skin. Gnarly still, but not debilitating! Yay!

I definitely owe a big credit to my new running mate Tye-ran-asaurus Rex, but there’s a bigger drive…

I think of all of you. Team Black. Team Green. Team Hulk. The family and friends who have expressed their complete trust in me to help showcase a better way of living… I think of you. I think of all the struggle I see in the “House of Hulk” every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday and the fact that you all are doing something a lot of you thought that YOU’d never be doing in a million years. I think of the sweat drenched faces soaked with the realization that “oh my god, I’m really doing this…” I think of the tears I’ve seen shed at a fitness journey coming to fruition, and my own tears I’ve shed along the way. I think about the fact that as much of a leader as I try to be, where do you all think I draw my inspiration from… You.

This post is an inadequate thank you to everyone putting their trust and faith in me and in Hulk. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. Your faces flash across my minds eye as I’m running alongside Team Prime. My heart swells. Not with pride, but with the realization that as soon as my run is over, I’m going to see the very faces that inspire me doing the very thing that inspires me. It truly is a blessing to know each and every one of you.

While others are holding a candle, you are all spotlights pointed towards the sky. Only, it’s not Batman you’re calling… AhhhOOOOO!!!!!

– Hulk

Tyrone Rivera!

Click the "Big Tye" to hear the song that reminds me of him every time I hear it!

Newest Personal Trainer at Anytime Fitness off Santa Rosa Ave, CA! Team Prime! Click to listen 😉

You guys are getting a treat! Two posts in one day! It’s like the world is ending and it’s not even 2012 yet!

Let’s get to it. That man you see above (the bottom one, definitely not the top one) is accomplishing a milestone tomorrow. Anytime Fitness’ own and my best friend Tyrone Rivera will be running his first 5k.

Ever.

Tomorrow.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s run that distance before, but only within the last year. Know what he did before that? Nothing. He had NO memory of running. Ever. Unless to get a snow cone after sitting miserably in the outfield during tee-ball that he didn’t want to be a part of (grape is most favorite).

Ladies and gentlemen, that BOTTOM picture is Tyrone 2.0. Optimus Tye. He is alive. That man at the top is no more… I want everyone to wish this man the best (Click here) in his 5k run tomorrow! He’ll be wearing his old school “Hulk: Round V” T-shirt (while rocking the Phillies cap of course). I want to put on public accord how proud I am. Not only has he lost 160 lbs in the last year, but he also has accomplished more in terms of baseline physical fitness than I think I have seen ANYONE achieve in just 12 short months. Who does that? Tyrone Rivera does. My heart couldn’t be more swollen for the love I have for this man. Not just because of his friendship, but the light he shines is brighter than he will ever know. He is a source of inspiration to not only myself, but countless others. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hit a low point in energy during a workout and thought “I’m NOT going to let Tye down.” That is the god honest truth. Know why? Because he has NEVER let me down and I’m not going to be the one to start that trend in this friendship…

A year ago, this man was SURE he was going to die in his sleep. Whether it was clogged arteries, deadly sleep apnea, or just a broken heart… Now, he’s running San Francisco tomorrow and I dare you to find a moment when a smile isn’t spread across his face as the breeze whips through those gorgeous gauges and adorable baby-thin hair.

Tomorrow is what Hulk is all about. We have another fellow Hulkster by the name of Cara Tocchini who, only a few short years ago was smoking TWO PACKS A DAY. She’s a marathon runner now…

The power of personal will power and mental grit is undeniable. The power of love (cue the Celine Dion references) is an unstoppable force that can take the most dejected, down-trodden soul and lift it high above to bask in the sunlight. Tyrone Rivera, I want you to bask in the sunlight tomorrow. I hope you allow the tears to fall when you complete what is sure to be a roller coaster of a ride and wash away ANY potential self doubt that may still linger. Tomorrow, the world is yours, it just doesn’t know it yet. Always remember the past that lies behind you even as you run as fast you can towards the wonderful future directly in front of you. I love you more as a trainer, coworker, person, and best friend than I can express, and just know that even though I can’t be with you tomorrow, my thoughts will be with you every thud of the pavement and every deep breathe you take that fills your lungs with the life others DREAM of getting a taste of.

– Hulk

PS Bobbi Rivera, Tyrone’s wife, will also be completing the 5k! She has lost 90 lbs and went from “immoveable” knees to… hittin’ the pavement with her man! Together, they have lost the amount of weight *I* was at at my heaviest (sans 15 lbs or so) and such an incredible feet is MORE than deserved to go to 2 of my very best friends.

Bobbi Rivera, you are the Captain of this Hulk ship sometimes. I’ll always be Master Commander, but without your leadership, sharing your struggles, sweetness and compassion (I won’t tell anybody, I know you’ve got a hard ass reputation to uphold), and desire to ALWAYS help, Hulk wouldn’t be what it is. I promise you. It is inarguable. Need I point to the countless times you’ve helped set up themed workouts? Or the fit testing on Thursday for your team? Or EVERYTHING you did for the “Hulk: Round VI” Challenge party? Or the board you made with Tye out of Hulk comics? Or the fact you almost NEVER miss a Hulk workout or BOSU class? Or your cookbook idea? I could go on and on, but I’m going to choose to say I love you just as much Bobbi Deanne Rivera, and I’ll never be able to express just how much. I will, however, always try!

Hulk 5K!

If the answer is “yes”, please leave a comment with your name so I can keep track of people interested 🙂